Two steps back January 11, 2012

Dear Julie,

I’m feeling a little frustrated with myself and my lack of good time management skills and general laziness.  I decided over the weekend that I needed to go to bed earlier so that I could get up earlier and get some exercise in before the boys get up.  Once they’re up I’m on the clock.  Excellent plan.

And then the alarm went off.  At 7am. I hit snooze 3 times (apparently my ipod gives me 6 minutes of snooze??), and then I just didn’t want to put my contacts in first thing in the morning so I decided to review the kids’ work from the previous day over a cup of tea and set up the schedule for today.  At which point it was 830, the boys were up and I needed to keep them on task if they were going to get their work done in time for us to leave for the park in the afternoon.   Dan’s cousin MB flew in on Saturday with his grandparents who have a winter “house” on the other side of the city.  The boys really wanted her to go with us to the park and she was willing to go.  That meant a 40 minute drive to go get her followed by 45 minutes to the park.  Working backwards, that meant leaving around noon if I wanted to get gas, pick up lunch (because I haven’t been to the store in 5+ days because of assorted things going on, so while there IS food in the house there isn’t “easy to make for lunch” food), pick up MB and get to the park around 2 so that we could play for several hours.  We left the park at 5, got home at 6 (yay!  Rush hour traffic!), picked up dinner (nearly devoid of nutrition) and ate.  That brought us to 715.  The kids asked to use computers until bedtime (at 8 ) and Dan took MB home.  I put the kids to bed with several rounds of “it’s a toilet, not a library” and “the floor is not a hamper” and now it’s 930 and oh look – almost time for bed.  Exercise = 0.

I should look at the kids’ work NOW so that I don’t have to do it in the morning.  I should look at it as soon as it’s done (and update the next day’s schedule appropriately – I’m using an online schedule tracker this year to see if that’s any easier, and it is in some ways).  I just don’t want to.  I want to be off the clock now.

So, I’ll go sit in the couch and knit some socks for a little while and then put myself to bed.  I’m going to need to come up with some plan other than “exercise first thing in the morning” because I’m realizing that  contacts problem is a recurring one – I just don’t want to put them in first thing if I don’t have to.  It’s much nicer if I’ve been up for a couple of hours first.   I’d consider exercising (right now I’m just thinking “walk steadily around the neighborhood for 30+ minutes) in the afternoon, but  I can’t do that Tuesday or Wednesday because of other commitments.  Maybe i could do it after dinner those nights?  I talked to Morley once and she would run three miles after dinner most nights while John dealt with dinner clean up and evening house things.  Perhaps I just need to buck up.

How do you fit exercise into your schedule?  Do you have some suggestions for me?

Running out of things that fit,

Amey

Taking it easy on yourself January 3, 2012

AL, I thought I was going to be so brilliant and kick the year off by posting after what seems like eons, years, months since I’ve written. I just looked at our site and saw 2 posts that I missed! How did that happen? I’ll tell you–it’s a lack of sleep going on 5 years now. I saw a journal entry, in my little notebook that I only seem to write in on vacations and major holidays, from November 2009. Brenna was 2 months old and I had slept 7 hours the previous night. So why does she wake 3-6 times now? Because I’ve allowed it. Because I’ve been too tired to make the change and cut out the night nursing. It’s time. She and I have been talking about it. It’s the new year and people make changes, right? Sometimes when I tell her no nursing she just rolls over, I sing her a sleepy version of Twinkle Little Star. Other times, she says “no tinkle ittle star!” and goes to sleep. My girl is growing up.

I didn’t reflect on 2011 very much. I reflected more on how I felt at the end of it, which is thankful. I don’t know whether it’s good or bad, but if people are alive, I’m pretty much happy now. Anything else is just sprinkles. At midnight the other night (yes, I was awake for new years), David said it’s going to be an interesting year–we’ve got a lot of travel planned, Ainsley starts Kindergarten in the fall (which makes me want to cry when I think of it, namely because I think of Dave Barry’s article every time. I read the last few sentences and get teary.) and lots of other adventures on the horizon. Ainsley will be a big girl as she walks in the school doors for the first time and I will cry.

Can I add that even though I’ve lived in Colorado for 12 years, New Year’s to me is still at 10 pm because that’s when the ball drops in NY? I mean, I’m from New York, how is new year’s at any other time? I was finishing a puzzle at 10 pm this year and missed the ball drop (for reasons why, see paragraph 1).

Looking forward to this “interesting” year ahead, I’m scared my grandmother won’t be there at the end. She’s 90 and feisty, but I began to cry as I kissed and hugged her goodbye last week. Her voice broke too. You just never know. I am not sure my dog and canine companion of 11+ years won’t make it through the year. I’m scared Inja will continue to live in a sub-optimal place or bad things will happen to the good people I know. I’m also hopeful–that I’ll actually be able to lose 8 lbs, that our travels will be exciting and not as exhausting as they currently promise. I’m hopeful I’ll make some money to afford what I spend and that I’ll sleep more. I would settle for life and sleeping more.

Did I tell you to read The Night Circus? If not, go read it. I’ve read it 3 times in the past month or so and would start it again tonight. Truly.

My friend Kate gave Brenna a little doll–stupidly named Belly Brites by the marketing person for a toy company–her belly lights up, changes color and plays a large portion of Clair de Lune. It’s very sweet. I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve heard Clair de Lune over the past few weeks. One night she played it 16 times before going to bed. First thing in the morning, Ainsley came in the room and turned it on. I might have thrown up in my mouth a little.

I’m heading downstairs to make dinner. Tacos with chicken breast or ground beef, beans, avocado, cheese, lettuce, salsa. It’s incredibly exciting. I’m going for Americana tonight. I might even use paper plates and not compost afterward (not really).

Hugs to you and happy 2012. How do you think it will be an interesting year?